Thinking out loud ... sharing

I am here sitting and writing , I should be praying in tongues or reading the bible earnestly , it is 05:47 in the morning , the day will be starting soon . Keren hasn’t woke up yet , though the alarms were going off since 04:30 in our great zeal to rise early and seek the Lord . Yet the soul needs to show it’s true color in order to deal with the controversy and the crisis , if it doesn’t and you don’t deal with it , disaster is looming ahead . The awesome Grace is that God let’s us know of our emotional congestion and dysfunction . We must know what’s going on . There is always something going on in our soul. Especially if you have any dysfunction in the past , either with parents , ex spouses , mental imbalance , drug abuse or alcohol , you name it . For me it’s loneliness , knowing that I am loved . When I was 6 my parents , whom I dearly love , decided to leave me for a year with my grandparents because of financial problems , hoping it would help them cope ( I guess I ate too much or something! ) . So they left , without even telling me good bye by the way . I was sitting in a bath tub preparing for the flight back home ( from Ukraine to Kazakhstan ) when I heard sound of footsteps and a door shutting . I couldn’t believe it , I panicked , jumped out of the bath tub naked and ran to the door ! My grandma ran to hold me and put me back in the tub . I began crying and screaming “ Mama , Papa !! “ --- Abandonment --- what a terrible thing it is ! How sensitive we are as humans to the dynamics of it ! Anything can trigger that sense of loneliness and injustice . The enemy sets us up for years sometimes . Preparing the ground . Rejection here , rejection there , then he pulls the rug from under our feet and Bam ! We are on the floor ! And there is no one to lift us up. Just like my grandparents did , the first voices you will hear are the voices justifying the one who slammed you on the ground : “ Why , they love you , they just thought you might make a scene as you are doing now ! “ “ You can’t blame them !” “ THEY ARE DOING IT FOR YOUR OWN GOOD ! “ . WOW!!!! What a TRAP! How are you supposed to get out of this one !? Amazing! Brilliant actually! It’s like Jezebel ( Izevel ) when she helped Ahab( Ahav) to get the piece of land in Jezreel ( Izrael ) , she accused Nabot the Carmelite ( Navot ha Carmeli ) of blasphemy while being the only righteous man in town , and got his land!!! Unbelievable right ? הרצחת וגם ירשתה?! Said the prophet to Ahab ! “ Have you murdered and also inherited ?! “ this should not be ! but the “king” of this world does it time and time again . Girls are being raped by their fathers and then ending up being ashamed of themselves for the rest of their lives . A man survives an accident feeling bad about not dying with the rest ! … It’s crazy alright , yet completely normal ... If it wouldn’t be for the sudden intervention of the Holy Spirit in the normality of the earthly life it probably would qualify as a type of Hell . In Hell there is no deliverance , there is no second chance ! Here we have the Grace given to us through the Son of God to lead us to repentance by The Spirit Who Is present here on earth… by Love , By Grace … not by force , not by guilt , not through fear and intimidation ! When I experienced the Holy Spirit I haven’t felt the awareness of Hell and how I offended God through my Sin … I had that all my life !!! … this time I knew that the Power I feel is SO real , that I realized that someone LOVES me !!! And it isn’t just anyone … this is GOD ! the One that made the Heavens and the Earth !!! Unbelievable !!! He Loves me ! and He is the Only one that ever Loved me , in fact I never felt love before , 19 years of death ! suddenly after waiting so long , hurting so long , I begin to live ! I guess it was worth it ! Though off coarse thoughts come like , if someone would dare to get to me with the Gospel before , things could have been better , tragedies could have been avoided , yet we should not cry over spilt milk ,it’s enough to just clean the floor and start over ! Psalm 27:1010 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.King James Version (KJV) Psalm 27:1010 Even though my father and mother have left me,ADONAI will care for me.Complete Jewish Bible (CJB) Psalm 27:1010 Even if my father and mother abandoned me, the LORD would take me in.New English Translation (NET) PS: nice melody to listen to while reading and reflecting , pray The Spirit of Yeshua touches your inner man and awakes you to life and revives you wholly ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx1U6vqWizI